So this morning at baby storytime at the library we sang "Where is Thumbkin?"
For those who haven't thumbkinned in recent years, let me refresh your memory. It goes a little something like this, to the tune of Frere Jacques:
[Start with both hands behind back]
Where is Thumbkin? [Pull out right hand with thumb pointed up]
Where is Thumbkin? [Pull out left hand with thumb pointed up]
Here I am. [Right thumb wiggles Danny Torrence-REDRUM-style at left thumb]
Here I am. [Repeat last step using left thumb]
How are you today, sir? [More wiggling of right thumb]
Very well, I thank you. [You guessed it! Wiggle that left thumb.]
Run away. [Right thumb rudely leaves the conversation and heads back behind your back]
Run away. [Poor left thumbkin, feeling hurt and sad, follows suit and hides behind your back]
OK, got it? Good. Now I only remembered this thumbkin song taking place with your thumbs, but it turns out that you do it with every single finger and then your whole hand.
Here is where you are thinking, "Christ, woman! Get to the point!". And I'm getting there. Now I want you to look at your hand and pick out which finger would be "The Long One".
Now do the actions listed above using this long finger.
STOP FLICKING ME OFF, YOU ASSHOLE.
Back to me at the library this morning. So we are doing this thumbkin song (which felt a bit interminable) and when we got to the long one, I felt all giggly and looked up, thinking other parents would be laughing, too.
Nope, not a one. Everyone else had serious looks of concentration on their faces while their long ones were pointed straight up in the air.
And then, for the 3,045,790th time in my life, I felt awkward.