Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Perhaps I Should Rethink those 4 AM Posts

Hmmm...those 4 AM posts tend to get rather whiny, don't they? That last paragraph especially - oy. I realize I need to get over the idea that I am going to be well rested at any point in the near future, otherwise I'm setting myself up for a lot of frustration.

But the fact that I'm so.damn.tired all the time lately did get me thinking that maybe there is something else going on. And I think there is. I think I have SAD. By which I mean S.A.D. or seasonal affective disorder, lest you think I'm now expressing my feelings with bad english. I get this way every year and February is notorious for being the suckiest. Cruel, cruel February.

I have struggled with depression on and off for most of my life, I think, but it generally manifests itself as pretty mild. Depression for me mostly means feeling suuuuuper sleepy, along with being crabby, wanting to withdraw, and tending to ruminate. It's a bad mood that goes on too long to just be a bad mood anymore. Someday I'll talk more about some of this depression stuff, but right now it's too much work. It's too...oh, what's that word?...depressing, if you will.

I think it's time for some light therapy and intense aerobic exercise for longer periods of time. Plus keep taking my supplements (Vitamin D, hefty doses of omega-3s, and pre-natals) every single day. Those have been proven to be the most effective for me, far more than medication ever was. But, ugh, that will take effort and it's so much easier just to write whiny blog posts and shake a fist in rage at Minnesota weather. Damn you and your frigid cold, gray ways, Minnesota! If you were a boy I would have quit you long ago!

Big sigh. Anyone else in the throes of SAD? Or even just a case of the lower case sads? Tell me! Misery loves company, you know.


  1. Oh, oh kay. I'll come out of the closet with you. When I get braver, I'll discuss more. This being shared, however, one thing that helps me is when i FORCE myself to be active and be around people. Do you and Bella (or you yourself) go to any classes or groups? Maybe associating with other parents (and having a few adult conversations during the day) would help?

  2. I think I am having a bit of the S.A.D. as well. For me it is the rain, coupled with not knowing anyone within a thousand miles, and my husband traveling constantly. I am like you in that it manifests itself by making me sleepy, cranky, emotional and as my husband puts it "wanting to talk about issues that aren't issues in our relationship". It's like I turn into a lazy/whiny teenager again. Hope that March brings you Minnesotans some much needed sunshine! Spring is just around the corner:) Oh and I force myself to do stuff. I signed up for a running race (I run about 80% of the time on the treadmill in my basement) and it is pushing me to work out, which makes me feel a million times better!

  3. Kim - Thanks for coming out of the closet with me :) Good point about getting out. We don't do a ton of stuff, but I do end up seeing friends a couple times a week or so and doing a class maybe once a week (story time, yoga, etc.). I'm going to sign up for swimming lessons soon and I think I will do more story time. It does put purpose and structure to the day.

    Care - YES with the teenager thing. I do it, too. I can feel myself being bratty to Husband, but I do nothing to stop it/fix it. And you are completely right about signing up for a race. I'm going to start 10K training for an April race and that will give me a clearer goal rather than exercising without direction. I didn't want to exercise this morning, but I thought of you exercising during Addie's nap so I pushed myself to do it and felt really good about myself. You are inspiring me to keep it up!

  4. Spring is less than a month away ... hang on girlfriend! In the meantime, head to Como Conservatory or the Walker Arts Plant area. Maybe a sauna or steam room ?? (but you can't take the babe there :)

  5. Hang in there--spring is around the corner. In fact it was still sunny at 5:00 today! I'm thinking of starting a mom group called "The Real Housewives of Ramsey/Hennepin County" What do you think?!

  6. Ugh - I'm totally a SAD victim too. About 2 weeks ago I started shouting at everybody at work & realized that perhaps it was the lack of sun over anything else. Is it just me or has this winter been especially brutal? I've decided to use the SAD as a justification for tanning. I think both the light & not being pale will help! :)

  7. H - What's this Walker Arts Plant Area? I've never been! Sounds fun. Or green, at least.

    Susan - Hahaha! I LOL'd at that. Excellent idea.

    Erin - Ooh, tanning, how I miss thee. I told myself that after my wedding I wouldn't do it anymore, but it is oh so nice to fake bake. I have always understood tanorexia - it's an addiction to Vitamin D, yo!

  8. Yay! Good for you! And here I am eating goldfish during her afternoon nap. Whoops, now I need to motivate myself. haha