Hmmm...those 4 AM posts tend to get rather whiny, don't they? That last paragraph especially - oy. I realize I need to get over the idea that I am going to be well rested at any point in the near future, otherwise I'm setting myself up for a lot of frustration.
But the fact that I'm so.damn.tired all the time lately did get me thinking that maybe there is something else going on. And I think there is. I think I have SAD. By which I mean S.A.D. or seasonal affective disorder, lest you think I'm now expressing my feelings with bad english. I get this way every year and February is notorious for being the suckiest. Cruel, cruel February.
I have struggled with depression on and off for most of my life, I think, but it generally manifests itself as pretty mild. Depression for me mostly means feeling suuuuuper sleepy, along with being crabby, wanting to withdraw, and tending to ruminate. It's a bad mood that goes on too long to just be a bad mood anymore. Someday I'll talk more about some of this depression stuff, but right now it's too much work. It's too...oh, what's that word?...depressing, if you will.
I think it's time for some light therapy and intense aerobic exercise for longer periods of time. Plus keep taking my supplements (Vitamin D, hefty doses of omega-3s, and pre-natals) every single day. Those have been proven to be the most effective for me, far more than medication ever was. But, ugh, that will take effort and it's so much easier just to write whiny blog posts and shake a fist in rage at Minnesota weather. Damn you and your frigid cold, gray ways, Minnesota! If you were a boy I would have quit you long ago!
Big sigh. Anyone else in the throes of SAD? Or even just a case of the lower case sads? Tell me! Misery loves company, you know.